Pickle: He’s So Hot Right Now!
Posted October 15th, 2007 in All, Commentary, Entertainment and TV Moment of the Weak
Reality. TV. Gold.
That’s all we have to say about VH-1’s most recent descent into the stranger-than-fiction subculture of reality television, America’s Most Smartest Model. Divided into equal parts trivia and modeling, the brainchild of producers Cris Abrego and Mark Cronin, who brought us such desperately tacky smarm-a-thons as Flavor of Love: Charm School and the recent Rock of Love, reflects even further analysis into the clandestine tastes of American reality TV audiences - which helped them to narrow the prospects enough to hone in on what it is their viewers are really after: Zoolander.
Sure, we’d all love to think that we belong to a directionally evolved species. That we’ve freed ourselves from our lower instincts. That we are, in a word, better. But try as we might to suppress our tendency toward inane debauchery, we are simply no match for these VH-1 savants. We JUST cannot resist a series that showcases:
- A model who uses the professional moniker “Pickle.” Because his name is Jeff Pickle. Apparently “Jeff “was taken. As was “Model.”
- A soundtrack that switches to plodding, brow-beaten, slavish music every time the Russian contestant, who takes himself and his chosen profession waaaaay too seriously, begins a new diatribe on self-adulation (”We are models! We are gods and goddesses!”) and who likes to be photographed screaming.
- A pornish plant who is all but guaranteed to survive at least two-thirds of the episodes because she irritates the uppity female host, whose name I don’t care about enough to look up, in almost every possible way. I believe the exact summary was along the lines of “You’re exactly what I was hoping not to find.”
- Models housed Surreal Life style with shared bathrooms and everything.
- Hysterical episode titles reflecting the most unbelievably vapid comment of the day.
- Ben Stein.
This homage to inanity airs on VH-1 with first runs on Monday nights. But don’t worry if you missed it; like the rest of their shows, you can always catch the rerun on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Oh and Sundays. Of course, if you’re just too booked to watch the series, you can always check out the thumbnails.
