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THE POLITICS OF POP CULTURENotes on a New Orleans from a Gustav Evacuee
Posted August 29th, 2008 in Activism, All, Books, Inside New Orleans, News You Cannot Use, Politics, Sports and Take a look...
Nothing says NEW ORLEANS like the crossroads of adversity and humor;
A house in the Uptown District of New Orleans posts a “No Wake” sign on the second story to prepare for hurricane flooding.
For Gustav, we have The Cone. The 5-day cone, the 3-day cone, the cone of anxiety!
I know the storm is imminent when the house up the street posts the sign. So here we go.
I’d say here we go again, but I wasn’t actually around for Hurricane Katrina. We moved to New Orleans almost exactly a year after that fateful storm passed through. A lot of people asked us: “Why would you want to go there?” It is a reasonable question. After all, the entire country watched as this city struggled and drowned. As the government later opined, “mistakes were made.” But New Orleans is in our family’s history, which means it is also in our blood. We wanted to come here for the simple reason of solidarity; we couldn’t bear to watch from afar, we had to come back. You see, the national news covered the storm, and it covered the devastation that followed. What it didn’t cover was the Rebirth. Unless you’re a New Orleanian or a serious Saints fan, you probably weren’t a part of the overwhelming spirit of a community that simply could not call any place else “home.”
We flatter ourselves that we have been a part of the Rebirth efforts here, which is what makes this new storm Gustav sting so badly. We want to stay. If you’ve never seen an entire city in the throws of post-traumatic stress disorder, maybe you don’t understand. Maybe all you see is an industrial center or a port. Maybe all you see is a city which has one of the highest poverty rates in the nation. Maybe all you see is boarded up windows and low-lying streets, just waiting to be flooded. But if so, New Orleans is more than what you see. Today I saw families boarding up windows. Today I saw people buying canned fish and batteries. But today, I also saw a young man pasting the only bumper sticker on his new car - a sticker that simply said “New Orleans.”
More than any place I have ever experienced, New Orleans is a community. It is a city where the words “friend” and “neighbor” mean something more than their dictionary definitions. It is a city where the word “porch” is a verb. It is the kind of city that could birth an entire musical genre (we’re talkin’ ’bout Jazz) out of sheer tenacity and strength of spirit, and probably no small amount of red wine. It is a city that gets into your soul, makes a nest, and settles down for the long haul. To us, it is home in every sense of the word.
Tomorrow, I will have to leave my home (Chris Rose leaves when Nash leaves*, I leave when the Saints leave). I will pack my family and my pets in a car, and drive to Kentucky where our nearest family members wait to literally shelter us from the storm (the nearest vacant hotels are in northern Arkansas anyway). We will drive all night, and we will arrive alive and safe. We will leave our home behind, and if Gustav does its worst, our home will flood, and struggle, and maybe drown once again. But there will be no dead in our attic, no need for the National Guard to paint an ugly number on our wall. We’ll head out, so that we can come back all the sooner.
Being a New Orleanian is kind of like being a pet person - either you get it or you don’t. If you do, I - we - want to say “Thank You.” Thank you to all the people in all the states who are preparing to help out our worst case scenario. Thank you to everyone who isn’t leaving it up to President Bush or FEMA to pull us through. Thank you for your care, your consideration, your generosity, and your help. But most of all, Thank You for understanding. We love our home, and no matter what Gustav or any other storm brings, we’re prepared to return. So tonight, as we’re clearing out our freezers and filling up our gas tank, we will eat our perishable foods, and we will drink our non-perishable wines, because this is New Orleans. We live it. We love it. And no matter what happens, we can’t wait to come home.
*Chris Rose never leaves.
Hurricane Gustav Threatens New Orleans; Locals Engaging Evacuation Plans
Posted August 28th, 2008 in Activism, All and Inside New OrleansJust a little snide aside for all those people who can’t understand why any people/pets remained in New Orleans during Katrina - here’s a little exercise that should clear things right up for you. Try to make your family a hotel reservation in any of the evacuation cities in Louisiana or nearby states for this weekend. If you’re really up for a challenge, insist on a pet-friendly hotel. Don’t forget to consider the cost of gas while we all sit on the highway trying to get out. You might reconsider judging those who remained in the city.
Today’s 5-day forecast cone for Hurricane Gustav;
New Orleans plans for a direct hit
If there’s one thing New Orleans residents have learned to take seriously, it’s hurricane preparedness. So locals are paying close attention to Hurricane Gustav, which has already taken 23 lives when hitting landfall in Haiti. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has declared a state of emergency, and preparations for evacuation by Labor Day weekend have begun in for New Orleans residents. This week marks the anniversaries of both hurricanes Katrina and Andrew - the two most devastating hurricanes to hit the Gulf Coast in recent history, which brings a high level of anxiety for local residents who experienced the storms and their aftermaths. For our readers outside the Gulf Coast, imagine the anniversary of a large-scale disaster such as 9/11; all the emotional turmoil of a catastrophic event is re-lived not only because of the date, but because another storm now threatens the same region. Since the Bush administration essentially washed its hands of the Katrina disaster, levees have not been repaired - let alone strengthened - and major flooding remains a possibility for the city.
For our local readers: we encourage you to resist the temptation to become enmeshed with disastrous predictions, and instead empower yourselves and your loved ones by maintaining as much of your normal schedule as possible. Once you have heard the most recent updates, turn off storm coverage. Listening to hour upon hour of imprecise predictions will not provide you with new information, and news networks often engage in unnecessary catastrophism in order to raise ratings. The best way to combat anxiety about a storm is to empower yourself by being prepared. Develop or revisit a plan in case an evacuation is called for, and a plan for weathering the storm locally. Following are some links that can help you stay appraised of the latest weather alerts, and help you complete your preparedness plan. Remember that anxiety is normal under these conditions, but don’t let it interfere with your ability to take care of yourself, your loved ones, and your community. We are all going through this together, and together we can weather any storm, even with Mayor Nagin in charge.
- NOAA Gustav Public Advisory Updates - The most recent updates from the National Hurricane Center, a division of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. This is an easy way to stay updated on the latest weather news without becoming overwhelmed by repetitive guesswork and overly-dramatic predictions on the news and weather channels. You can also find the latest and news on NOLA.com’s New Orleans Hurricane Center website.
- General Evacuation Guidelines - From the city’s official site, includes tips, evacuation routes and estimated drive times, and emergency broadcast stations around the state.
- Southeast Hurricane Evacuation Guide - Click to see where you can get copies of the guide including evacuation routes or download it here.
- Gambit Weekly’s tips for hurricane preparations - including evacuation checklists and location guides.
- NOLA.com’s tips for emergency food and water planning - Great tips from Katrina survivors, including how to store frozen food even when the power goes out, how much water you really need, and of course, the requisite red wine (no chilling necessary).
- Plan for your pets - Don’t forget to plan for your fuzzy friends. Many shelters will not admit animals, so your pets may need a backup evacuation plan. This link has information on how to plan for your pet, as well as animal shelter options and pet-friendly hotels and motels. You can also find tips on the Louisiana ASPCA website, or call them directly at (504) 581-PETS or (504) 368-5191.
Oprah Momentarily Joins Human Race; Focuses On Poverty In The U.S.
Posted August 15th, 2008 in Activism, All, Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment, Entertainment News, Healthcare, Inside New Orleans, Politics and TV Moment of the Weak
Oprah whispers, “I see poor people.”
We’ve been known to call out talk shows for their total lack of social relevance, so it seems only fair to offer a rare shout out to the Oprah show for today’s special feature on poverty in America. Oprah (who shouldn’t be so shocked seeing as she grew up in an impoverished Mississippi community) invites Anderson Cooper, who has been at the forefront of reporting on the poverty exposed by Hurricane Katrina, to discuss his experiences reporting on the devastation and poverty since the storm, and sends him into impoverished communities around the nation to expose the extent of poverty in the U. S. The episode is a refreshing use of a national platform to discuss a very real, very serious issue. Finally, a talk show with something to talk about.
Facts about poverty in the United States:
- Medical bills are the leading cause of bankruptcy in the U.S.
- In 2006, 46 million Americans have no health insurance.
- Over a third (36%) of families living below the poverty line are uninsured.
- More than 9 million children lack health insurance in America.
- Eighteen Thousand people die each year in the United States because they are uninsured.
- The United States has higher child poverty than seven other major industrialized western countries (UNICEF, State of the World’s Children Report 1993, 1992). The U.S. child poverty rate is dramatically higher than those of Canada, Germany, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom.
Dr. Phil - Also Not A Licensed Drug and Alcohol Counselor
Posted August 13th, 2008 in All, Celebrities, Commentary, Dr. Phil Chronicles, Entertainment News, Inside New Orleans and TV Moment of the Weak
Today’s Dr. Phil episode (Heroin Addict Nanny or some such) is another rerun worth noting, if only to stress once again, a little louder this time, that our favorite smugmeister is in no way qualified to intervene in any of these people’s lives, this time because he is not a licensed drug and alcohol counselor. The state of California does have a special license for providing chemical dependence counseling. It is called a CADAC, short for Certified Alcohol and Drug Addiction Counselor, and Dr. Phil does not have one. This is in addition to the general license to practice psychiatry, which he also does not have.
What he does have is a smug attitude and a nationally syndicated show, so at the very least we can all flip on channel 3 and learn exactly what NOT to do, should anyone we love actually end up in a position desperate enough to seek help from Dr. Smug. I mean Phil.
Lessons From The Dr. Phil School Of Counseling*
Lesson # 1 - Fail utterly to provide compassion. Every problem in the world can be solved by a quick kick in the ass, so clearly anyone not as perfect as the good doctor is simply lazy. Save compassion for your failed efforts to hit on Jane Fanda (if you don’t get the reference, you need to watch more Kathy Griffin).
Lesson # 2 - Be as threatening as possible. Make several ultimatums in a row, pose questions without pausing to hear the answers, and indicate that you have eyes everywhere. This works particularly well with the paranoid schizophrenics.
Lesson # 3- Be uneducated about the issue except in the most general sense. If you have ever smoked a cigarette, then you are probably qualified to treat a long term heroin addict. Making it up as you go along based only on your personal impression of the greater world around you is the key to helping other people improve their own lives. The lazy sots.
Lesson # 4 - Indicate that you have no intention of believing anything your “guest” says before you have given her or him the chance to talk. This always ensures that people will provide thoughtful, honest answers to your questions.
Lesson # 5 - Make sure to keep the focus on yourself. If you shut your giant tripe filled gob for one moment, you run the risk that your “guest” might have an uninitiated moment of self-perception or greater awareness, and then you could lose control of the interview. Just keep referring to yourself, mention how great you are, and remind everyone that this is your moment in the sun. No one else in that room can thrive on other people’s tragedies like you can!
Let it never be said that Dr. Phil is not a master at something; we’ve already stipulated his prowess in the “smug” field. But only someone who has really, totally failed to dedicate the time and effort necessary to become a competent therapist could manage to illustrate all of these lessons during his first interaction with a new guest:
So, what have you done today? (Pause for dramatic effect.) Be very, very careful. I asked you a question, you better tell me the truth. You don’t know what I know. You. Don’t. Know. What. I. Know. Look, at some point, you’re just gonna have to understand that you’re just gonna’ have to be honest with me, cuz’ the way to tell when you’re lying is if your lips are moving, right? You’ll lie about anything anywhere. I mean that’s part of this addiction. This is a time - if you want a chance to try to live, try and get your life back, you need to tell the truth about everything I ask you. And believe me, I am a human lie detector, and you jack with me and you’ll be gone before you know it. I don’t put up with any of that bull- and you just need to know that from me right. Up. Front. Okay? So you need to think about that when I ask you the question, what have you done today?
Guest: Uh, I’m the camera man.
Splendid. Stupendous. The perfect illustration of how to ensure that someone leaves an hour with you feeling worse about themselves (and the world in general!) than they did before meeting you. The award for doing the absolute, literal least one could possibly do definitely goes to Dr. Phil.
*Candidates licensed to practice either (a) psychiatry or (b) what they preach, will not be accepted.
Oh yeah? Then why don’t they host Mardi Gras?
Posted August 9th, 2008 in All, Inside New Orleans and Weekend Fluff
“A day without wine is like a day without sunshine.”
We’re officially calling shenanigans on those yahoos over at Forbes. The online magazine posted a list of America’s “hard-drinking cities” this week which somehow miraculously failed to name New Orleans. Their top city? Get this - Austin. That’s right, the one in Texas. Apparently that’s what happens what a bunch of rich white guys get together to publish a magazine. I’m convinced the conversation went something like this:
“Should we go to New Orleans?”
“New Orleans? Don’t they have Bla… uh, African-Americans, like, out on the streets and everything there?”
“Good point. Let’s stick to Texas.”
In our defense, Katrina scattered our alcoholics all over the nation, and not all of them have made it back. YET. You may have foiled us this time Austin, but come next February 24, we DEFY you to cram as many drunken revelers in one city block as we can fit into a drunk tank! That’s right! New Orleans forever! Wooohoooo! :chug:
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