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If you’re looking for this summer’s hottest legal thriller, you’ve come to the right place. Fiction is fine for some, but here at the Basement we find plenty of entertainment at our local house of justice. No one but no one does scandal and corruption like the power hungry politicos of New Orleans. Just ask our local attorneys.

On the afternoon of Wednesday May 27, 2008 one mister James G. Perdigao filed civil action number 08-3570 with Eastern Louisiana U.S. District Court. Civil actions (that’s legal jargon for lawsuits to you and me) get filed every day, but all civil actions are far from equal…and this one is a whopper. Money, politics, more money, corruption, lots of money, cover ups, really really gigantic wads of cash, extortion, a staggering amount of dinero, attempted murder, and a just downright unbelievable amount of moolah, this case has more than enough to fill the pages of John Grisham’s next three novels.

I have in my hot little hands a copy of the very 73 page “brief” which outlines (with great aplomb) the various and sundry reasons why Mr. Perdigao feels that the law firm of Adams and Reese, L.L.P. owes him some of that prodigious amount of cash. According to the suit, Mr. Perdigao (who was a partner with the firm from 1993 until 2004) was privy to the inner workings of the firm’s many business ventures, both legal and not-so-much. His side of the short story goes something like this: Firm engages in copious illegal activities including bribery and extortion, Perdigao resists firm’s strong-arm tactics to involve him in various cover ups, firm engages in character assassination, Perdigao becomes official scapegoat, FBI gets involved, house of cards tumbles faster than a cheetah on speed, Perdigao files suit and names names. Big names. Names like Congressman Jefferson (you remember him from the recent frozen money scandal), former District Attorney Eddie Jordan (a cocksucker of the highest order) and former Mayor Marc Morial (of the infamous Johnson Controls scandal), as well as high-ranking businessmen like Robert J. Guidry (part owner of the Treasure Chest Casino).

The long story is, as ever, more complicated if no less Hollywoodesque. The file reads eerily like the script of a summer blockbuster, ironic in that the Louisiana Motion Picture Incentive Act is at the core of much of the debatably legal income garnered by named defendant Robert Vosbein. He and all of his partners (Charles P. Adams, B. Jeffrey Brooks, Edwin C. Laizer, Paul J. Lassalle, Thomas G. O’Brien, Mark J. Spansel, and Martin A. Stern) will have to answer charges ranging from racketeering and bribery to obstruction of justice and retaliation against a government witness in response to Perdigao’s allegations, the most notable of which include a trail of bribery leading directly from Guidry, through Congressman Jefferson to D.A. Jordan.

Following a series of hearings in July-September, 1997 in Baton Rouge dealing with [former Governor Edwin Edwards, who was sentenced to 10 years in prison on racketeering charges – what a coincidence!]…seized cash, Guidry noted to Vosbein, Wilson, and plaintiff that Ewin would not do well in Baton Rouge and that Andrew [Martin] intended to ride Edwin’s coattails because Andrew was broke. Guidry related that he could outspend all of those M*****F*****’s and that he was getting his own insurance, referring to his plan to bribe U.S. Attorney Eddie Jordan through the efforts of U.S. Rep. Bill Jefferson…. Guidry informed Vosbein, Wilson, and plaintiff that he was confident that he would be able to keep his money. Guidry proclaimed that he had an ace in the hole, and that his ace was an ace of spades, referring to his African-American co-conspirator.

Good stuff, right? For those of you following along at home, that’s on page 7. The brief goes on to describe one such bribery encounter being carried out:

In the spring of 1998, plaintiff had a meeting with Guidry at Guidry’s penthouse apartment above his offices in Harvey, Louisiana. At this meeting, as they were discussing recent events regarding the Edwards grand jury in Baton Rouge, Guidry proceeded to tell plaintiff how he was bribing U.S. Attorney Eddie Jordan through U.S. Rep. Bill Jefferson. Guidry noted that he never placed the money directly in Jefferson’s hands, but rather under the back steps while Jefferson watched inside through the window. Guidry then recounted the story of his first “drop” under the back steps of Jefferson’s house in New Orleans. When Guidry entered the backyard, he found two sets of steps. With a puzzled look, he glanced through the window for directions from Jefferson. Guidry related that both he and Jefferson “cracked up laughing” as Jefferson pointed him to behind a planter by the correct stairs.

Page 9. Hard to believe, isn’t it? But in this mass of greed and obfuscation so tremendous that it does almost seem like a joke, there are victims to consider, and I’m not talking about poor deposed lawyer Perdigao. Central to much of the financial scandal is the insurance industry, which has more than a small effect on this hurricane-ravaged region. The brief goes on to detail numerous incidents which served to defraud both the firm’s clients and – most importantly to my delicate sensibilities – thousands upon thousands of Louisiana insurance holders who will ultimately continue to pay the price for the firm’s alleged misdeeds in the form of outrageous premiums, extra fees, and/or being dropped altogether from their policies. The brief explains how the firm made a repetitive practice of recruiting former city and state government officials with the express intention of placing them on projects which they are by law barred from addressing within two years upon leaving elected or appointed office. Of particular note is the description of the firm’s employment of former Louisiana Insurance Commissioner Robert Wooley (who replaced Commissioner Jim Brown after he was convicted of lying to an FBI agent – is anyone else starting to see a pattern emerge here?)

With similar ethical constraints as [former Mayor] Morial, Teamer, and Coulon, Wooley would be prohibited from representing insurance companies before the Louisiana Department of Insurance for a period of two years after he left office. But the firm proposed to put forward a “low-key grinder” to front the insurance regulatory work for Wooley during his two-year probation. In addition, the firm proposed to use Wooley as a state legislative lobbyist for his insurance company clients. Plaintiff recommend…to obtain an ethics opinion from the Louisiana Board of Ethics on the legality of a former Insurance Commissioner engaging in legislative lobbying on behalf of insurance company clients during his two-year probation. They decided that they did not want to risk an adverse opinion and instead would try to have Wooley “fly below the radar.” They advised plaintiff that his advice was no longer needed.

It gets better. Wooley followed the firm’s advice while he was in office, which essentially suggests that he tied his financial and therefore political future in with the firm while he was supposed to be protecting Louisiana consumers from things like insurance fraud as the state’s Insurance Commissioner. Perdigao’s suit states that Commissioner Wooley “helped push through a measure that allowed insurance companies to raise rates by up to 10% without the approval of the Louisiana Insurance Rating Commission. This so-called ‘flex-band’ initiative promoted by Commissioner Wooley was a gift to insurers at the expense of Louisiana consumers.” The suit goes on to describe how Wooley’s pet project, the creation of Louisiana Citizens Property Insurance Corporation, served to allow insurance companies to pass their losses on to policyholders rather than pay to insure their own losses. Insurance Companies previously made money by distributing their risk around to a much larger area and re-insuring against their own losses; they could afford to insure New Orleans area houses because they also insured inland areas at a much lower rate. Any losses they suffered were offset by the lower risk areas. The suit states “After Louisiana Citizens was created, all losses were directly passed on to policyholders as surcharges, effectively taking insurance companies off the hook.”

Of course, that only matters if you can actually get insurance in the first place. Perdigao’s suit accuses the firm of creating and profiting from a situation which allowed insurers (specifically Allstate) to unilaterally drop coverage to nearly 30,000 policyholders in 18 coastal parishes. When the Louisiana Department of Insurance threatened to sue, guess who represented Allstate.

Allstate performed drive-by inspections of roughly 40,000 homes in the New Orleans area in an inspection process that took less than one minute per home. However, many customers who received cancellations letters complained to the Louisiana Department of Insurance that their homes had already been or were in the process of being repaired and that their coverage should not have been terminated. In the Spring of 2007, the Louisiana Department of Insurance forced Allstate to scrap this drive by inspection process that resulted in several thousand homeowners getting their policies canceled. Meanwhile, Allstate reported a record of $5 billion profit for 2006…. During his two-year prohibition [against handling any insurance business involving the state after his term as Insurance Commissioner], Wooley directed an army of lawyers at the firm looking for technicalities to allow Allstate to drop long-standing customers in storm-prone areas of the state, violating both the letter and the spirit of Louisiana’s consumer protection laws.

Perdigao’s suit goes on to cite further illegalities involving other large insurers as well as the state Medicaid system (because why stop at just taking your house, when they can ruin health insurance too) before moving on to accuse the firm of obstructing justice on several occasions and then trying to have him murdered. According to the suit, Perdigao was attacked by gunfire two days after firm partner Vosbein threatened him, saying “the snitch usually ends up in the ditch.” Apparently the firm’s $16,000 per hour rates financed an education in bumper sticker mentality.

So that’s the bad news. The good news? Adams and Reese, L.L.P, has no intention of going down without a fight. With any luck we’ll all get a front row seat as these titan douchebags undertake to prove once and for all who is the douchiest douche among them (Perdigao is asking for a jury trial on all counts).

Hollywood ain’t got nothin’ on us, Louisiana.

Coming Up: Law firm Adams and Reese, L.L.P. responds to the suit.

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Wesley Snipes is deeply ashamed of his crime.

Actor Wesley Snipes was sentenced today to three years in prison for tax evasion to the tune of over $15 million. Snipes, who publicly stated that he was being unfairly prosecuted because of his race, attempted to avoid prison time by offering to pay $5 million to the court upon hearing the verdict. Apparently he was under the impression that he was in some kind of negotiation. Court officials neglected to comment on whether the sentence was due to the tax evasion, or to the criminal stupidity of a high profile celebrity thinking he could get away without paying millions of dollars in taxes during a wartime economy. I mean he’s not Tom Cruise for chrissake.

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How quickly they forget.

Just last year, the congressional witch hunt for steroids in professional sports whipped into a frenzied climax when professional wrestler Chris Benoit brutally murdered his wife and child before committing suicide in what was assumed to be a steroid-induced mania. This week, they celebrated the career of wrestling icon “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, who recently retired. I guess.

U.S. Rep. Sue Myrick, R-N.C., gave a brief speech on the floor of the House this week commending pro wrestler Ric Flair, who had his last match on March 30.

Many consider Flair the greatest wrestler of all time, and some of his finest moments came while he was working for Atlanta-based World Championship Wrestling.

The speech left wrestling fans asking several questions: Who is Sue Myrick? Why does she even know Ric Flair’s name? And why didn’t The Undertaker saunter out of some steamy congressional hallway to challenge her to a cage match?

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